French Election

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It is the ideal way to sit through an election. There are no television advertisements permitted, no radio either – in fact, not even newspapers are permitted to accept ads from those running for office. Occasionally you receive a brochure in the mail… but what’s the point? Everyone knows who the candidates are and what they stand for… everyone, that is, except me.

As I said, it is the ideal way to sit through an election. They speak French and I don’t. If only it had been thus when Bush and Gore were duking it out a couple of years back. Such contented ignorance. It's not as if they (any candidate will do) has anything to say worth hearing.

There were sixteen of them this time, each vying for the top spot in the French government. Then there were two. Very soon there will be only one… and everyone knows who that will be. The only question is, by how much will Chirac trounce Le Pen?

The media has been making much about Le Pen, the far far right candidate (many would say neo-Nazi) who surprised the so-called experts and finished second in the first round of elections. Editorials have screamed that it is a signal of the looming threat of a new rise of fascism in Europe, a wake up call, an “earthquake.”

What they seem to forget is that there were almost more candidates in this past election than people voting. The person with the largest immediate family could have done quite well (assuming he could get his Aunt Matilda to vote for him).

Le Pen is something of a national joke. He runs for President each election cycle spouting his rhetoric about how France should belong to the French and how the European Union is an “occupying force” of the once proud French nation. And each time about 15% of the people agree with him (of course, about 15% of any given population believe that if you play the soundtrack from “I Love Lucy” backwards it is really a message from an alien civilization demanding we immediately surrender our cattle). But this guy, who is something of a cross between Ross Perot and Drew Carey (and given about as much political respect), just keeps coming back.

And the other candidates were so incredibly dull. The two top contenders’ campaign platforms were basically: Chirac – “Let’s keep things the way they are and he (Jospin) is a crook.” And Jospin – “I agree and I know you are (a crook, that is) but what am I?” So the electorate stayed away in droves (the lowest turnout since WWII) and Drew Carey’s evil twin got the number two spot.

The outcome, however, of the run off election was never in doubt. The evening of the first vote – the moment of Le Pen’s glory – opinion polls showed that he would loose the general election by 80% to 20%. Kind of took the edge off the celebration down at Le Pen’s headquarters, I should think.

But anyway, it did spice up the election for two weeks (which is as long as any election should take in my humble opinion) and the country had a rare chance to worry about world opinion. Quite a treat. A chance to take center stage for a moment.

Pundant after pundant worried out loud about what the world must think of France – a nation that would place a man such as Le Pen a step away from power. Little did they realize that the rest of the world can barely find France on a map, and hasn’t worried much about who was in power there since Napoleon was exiled to Elbe. Perhaps more a comment on the state of the rest of the world than on France.

But now the World Cup begins, and the nation will turn away from politics once more and focus on things that really matter. A glass of wine, a warm baguette, and hopes that they finally have a team that can beat England. C’est le vie!

written by Jay Warmke - May, 2002

The French Election: