6 January 2003

Fast Food, French Style

When we first arrived in Europe in some ways I felt like a fish out of water.  There was no fast food.

By fast food I am not speaking of McDonald’s or Burger King.  Eating what they call food is about the same as eating the plastic food in Cat’s doll tea set, except it has enough calories to last you for a month. 

Fast food is the kind you get at Juanita’s Restaurant in Zanesville or the Blue Bell in McConnelsville.  Most of it is real food (some would dispute this) that arrives quickly once you order.  Given that description, there is no fast food in France.  Even McDonalds requires waiting in line forever.   McDonald’s does have espresso and beer, but I can get that at the sidewalk café in town.

I have learned that the eating of food in France is to be savored.  You are supposed to take your time.  Even at the simplest of restaurants first you order aperitif (wine or liquor) and talk a little.  Then you order a boisson, which is another drink like Coca Cola, Perrier (water with gas) or Evian (water without gas).  Just the cost of the boisson alone ends up being equal to the amount you will pay for the main part of the meal.

After the boisson you can order your meal.  One time I was so cold that when we got to the restaurant I asked the waiter for café au lait matinane sei vous plait (coffee with milk now please).  He just stared at me, so I repeated the whole thing in French thinking he didn’t understand my accent.  Again he stared.  Then he repeated, “matinain?” as if it were a question.  In the waiter’s mind the coffee was to be ordered after the meal…not before. 

After the meal you are supposed to order coffee or tea (thea).  Then you order a plate of different moldy cheeses.  After that you can order another cup of coffee (little tiny cups and you pay for each one) along with dessert.  Jay and I always say the waiters think we are cheap because we order a boisson and the main meal, then the check.  This is as fast as food gets in France.

One day, when I was close to going on strike as the cook (I thought I deserved one day off a week) I noticed La Licorne (The Unicorn), a little shop with prepared food on display in their large window.  It’s not that I hadn’t noticed the shop before.  It’s that as an American I had one idea of fast food…McDonald’s or Juanita’s. 

A light bulb went off in my head and I raced into the shop to buy egg rolls, shrimp salad, baby fried potatoes and two huge pieces of cheese quiche.  All I had to do was heat up the parts that needed to be hot and “viola” (wa la) we had a meal.  The next week I had a regular day off.  Ever since that amazing discovery I have eaten terrific French fast food.

On my next night off we will go to Cat’s favorite place, a lovely little Chinese restaurant just up the street.  This is the first restaurant where the owners are friendly.  We ordered, “take out” once and they sent a free beer.

We will plan to arrive right at the dot of 7:00 because that is the earliest restaurants are open for dinner.   The waitress will greet us with a handshake and point to the table that looks out over the street.  We will say, “Bon Sous (good evening)” and sit down.  She will not ask us to order aperitif because she knows we are “cheap”.  We will point to the numbers of the food we want to order and ask for chopsticks.

Cat will admire the lovely drawings on the place mats and we will politely place the starched napkins on our laps.  Just another lovely evening eating the fastest food we can in a little town in France.