28 April 2003

One Year Ago

As I walked back from Cat’s school in the bright spring sunshine my mind was racing over the past year.  My, how life has changed. 

Last year at this time I had three outfits to my name, and not a single thing I needed to set up housekeeping in a six bedroom house in France.   By the end of spring the house was furnished with furniture from IKEA, the Scandinavian company in Paris, and by the end of summer the walls were covered in photographs we had taken from trips around France.  My closet now contains no less then two-dozen scarves (for around my neck) and a few hats; all purchased in English charity shops (oh, yea, I finally got my clothes from the US too).

Franchoise, the farmer’s wife is still teasing me that my French is terrible.  I am embarrassed that I am doing so poorly.  Whenever I am teased I go into how I am teaching English to 6 year olds, and translating websites with Natalie, and writing.  (I don’t say “plus cleaning a huge house, entertaining every week, cooking three meals a day, helping with French and English homework….blah, blah, blah.”)  Franchoise shakes her head in understanding.

The truth is that I’ve learned more French than I had thought possible.  I am just shy to try to spit out the sentences.  A year ago I spoke no French and understood even less.  Today I can go shopping, have short conversations, and understand the weather report…all in French.

Cat has gone from speaking and understanding no French to speaking so quickly that sometimes I have no idea what she is talking about.  She is delighted with herself when this happens.  She likes to come home from school for lunch, and we have managed to weather many storms by having that time with her each day.

A year ago the garden had giant holes in the ground from the four dogs that used to live here.  There was one hollyhock near the garden wall, a lilac tree and two Japanese apple trees.   Over the summer we managed to grow sunflowers, pumpkins and a variety of herbs, which totally transformed the garden.

Today the garden has changed again.  The winter freezes caused the stonewall surrounding the garden to explode inward.  By the time the men finished rebuilding the wall the garden was completely destroyed.  Part of the destruction came from the worker’s attempts to be helpful.  One day I returned from the store to find all of the roses and lupines in a pile on the walkway.  They had pulled them up by the roots to save them.  It was below freezing that day and I swore I could hear the plants screaming in pain.  The ground was so frozen that I couldn’t even get the shovel into it to get enough dirt to cover the poor plants.

Now the garden is a place of beauty again.  There is lush green grass and lovely flat stones outlining the garden beds.  The Japanese apple trees are bursting with deep pink blossoms and the lilac tree is ready to spit out leaves.   The pink and yellow primrose, along with the purple pansies makes everything look new.

The birds have finally discovered the bird feeder and their water.  They offer us a show everyday as they bathe and eat.

I’ve discovered French fast food, pharmacies that actually look up how to make medicines (and then make them), and how to go to the antique auction.

In one short year I’ve learned how to cook again and to eat long leisurely meals.  My shopping days are very few.  I walk everywhere and my “bum” is happier for it.

In many ways this has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  The challenges often have had nothing to do with the world around me.  They’ve had to do with the world within me.  It isn’t so much that I have slowed down from the hectic pace of America.  It isn’t even that I’ve been forced to let go of so much that I hold dear. 

If I could put the changes into words I would say that somewhere in slowing down and letting go I’ve begun to learn how to be alone with “me”.  Some days that is good, and some days I would just as soon run the other way.

As spring unfolds I find myself looking forward to the simplest things…a friend’s wedding, visits with my family, a shopping trip with Jay, and maybe a new hat.  AND I am once again ready for a new adventure.