14 April 2003
Dear Mr. Office of the Spokesman
Living in France is really great. Everyday there is something new.
There are lots of things to experience, but the one thing that seems
designed to send us running back to the US is the “Office of the Spokesman”.
First of all, who is this person who sends this stuff out?
I think the writer must be an attorney working for the US State
Department.
The email announcements usually read something like:
“This information is current as of today, Worldwide Caution”
(How does a “worldwide caution work exactly?
Do they really expect me to think that it is possible to be scared
everywhere in the world? I realize
that America is a big place with far reaching influence.
I guess this attorney thinks their reach goes everywhere.)
“This supersedes the Worldwide Caution dated November 20,
2002. It is being issued to remind U.S. citizens of the need to remain vigilant
due to a heightened threat of terrorist actions that may target civilians,
including the possibility of attacks by non-conventional weapons. This Worldwide
Caution expires on May 4, 2003.”
(Does this mean we will not have to be “vigilant” after
that date? If I can stop worrying
after May 4, I am thinking about planning a party to celebrate.)
“The Department of State reminds Americans that U.S.
citizens and interests are at a heightened risk of terrorist attacks.
Terrorist actions may include, but are not limited to, suicide
operations, assassinations or kidnappings.”
(What does “interests,” mean? I have lots of interests but I can’t imagine any terrorist
is interested in going to French class or the plant nursery.
They might show up at the family history group at the library though
since you know how crazy those genealogy folks can be.
AND I do appreciate the attorney who is writing this message letting us
know what a terrorist is allowed to do. That
is most helpful)
“These individuals and groups have proved that they do
not distinguish between official and civilian targets.”
(I was wondering if the government publishes an official
list of terrorist targets? With my
luck I am probably on the “official” one by mistake, when I ought to be on
the “civilian” one.)
“Because security and security awareness have been
elevated within the United States, terrorists may target U.S. interests
overseas. Private Americans should
remain vigilant with regard to their personal security and exercise caution.”
(I would call my husband a “private American” but I
tend to be much more social and open so I guess I can relax.)
“Attacks on places of worship and schools, and the
murders of private American citizens and other westerners, demonstrate that as
security is increased at official U.S. facilities, terrorists and their
sympathizers will seek softer targets.”
(Are they
talking about my old neighborhood in the US or where I am living in France?
We haven’t had any murders or attacks here.
The police station closes down for a two-hour lunch, for heaven’s sake.
Plus I am much softer than my husband, but not as soft as I used to since
I’ve been walking everywhere. I
am beginning to feel great concern for his safety.)
“Americans should increase their security awareness when
they are at such locations, avoid
them, or switch to other locations where Americans in large
numbers generally do not congregate.”
(If I switch to other locations where Americans don’t
congregate then what if I end up in one of “those” neighborhoods where the
terrorists live? Also, I was
thinking…most Americans seem to congregate in America…so I guess that means
you all have to come over here.)
“My mamma didn’t raise no fool,” as my grandmother
would say. I can appreciate good
sound advice now and then. Advice
like ”look both ways before crossing the street” and “don’t poke your
brother in the eye with a pointed stick” have often served me well.
But I think I may have a few words of advice for the
“Office of the Spokesman”.
Dear Mr. Office of the Spokesman: If you want me to take you seriously, stop issuing warnings
telling me to be very afraid of everything and everybody everywhere until May 4th.
All of that just seems silly…even for an attorney working for the US
government. Sincerely, Annie Warmke
P.S. My
husband says he can hardly wait until May 5th when we can relax.